Time Flies

Six years ago we were blessed with our first daughter, Alaina Courtney. As we pulled out of the hospital parking lot to take her home, I turned to Gary and said, "I feel like our family is complete. Two boys and now a little girl." (Now we all know how that story ends.:)) But at the time, she was the perfect completion to our family. Time has flown by with her and here we are 6 years later. She's in Kindergarten and loving it. She's taking ballet and loving that too. And she has grown into such a sweet caring little girl. She's also a little spunky thing too. Whacking her brothers whenever she needs to stick up for herself. I love that about her too. I hope the next 6 years go by much slower than the last, but part of me can't wait to see what kind of a young lady she will become. So much to look forward to with her! Here she is with her new "friend" Molly, that she got for her birthday. Now both of them are tucked into their beds upstairs and hopefully our Lainy Lou is having sweet birthday dreams.

Written Word

This is what I often find Brendan doing when I tuck him in at night. He's up on his bunk bed hunkered down reading the funnies. Every week his great grandma (my grandmother), sends him the comics along with a hand written note. Each week he eagerly opens his letter and often sits right down and writes her back. They exchange interests, daily happenings, and have even sent hand drawn pictures to each other. As she is getting older we are seeing her a little less and I'm thankful for this meaningful way of communicating. My grandmother still sits down and hand writes letters to friends and family. Everyone enjoys checking the mailbox and finding an envelope written in someone's handwriting waiting for them. It's personal. In this day of increasing technology I still enjoy holding an actual newspaper or book in hand to read. A hand written letter? Even better. I'm so thankful that my grandmother is still here with us and is able to pass on something that is very important to her generation.....the hand written word.

Different

In high school my personalized license plate read, YBNORML. Later on in college it read, BURSELF. I always wanted to be unique and different. Whether or not I achieved that at that young age, I don't know. But I do admire other people who are "one of a kind".

My son Nolan is one of those people. Tonight he was frustrated about how hard school is and said to me, "I wish I wasn't different. I want to be like everyone else." He has also expressed to me that he, "hates his life with autism." In the last year he has started realizing that he is not quite like his peers. It breaks my heart when he makes comments like these, because I wouldn't change his uniqueness for anything. Would I take away his struggles? Of course. But I wouldn't change him, his quirky ways, his blunt honesty, or the way he bounces around with no inhibitions just because he is truly and purely overjoyed about something in his little world. So as his mother, I have to figure out how to take these frustrations he's having and turn them around. I want him to celebrate who he is and be proud of the fact that he is unique. I know I am. And I am so blessed to be his mother.

Focus

Nolan has made so much progress since he was a little guy. Just the other night he asked to read to me (which he never does), and I sat down to listen. As he read in his robot monotone voice, my eyes welled with tears. I didn't focus on the fact that he is way behind his peers. Nor did I think about the ever widening gap between him and his friends. I focused on the fact that he was READING.......to me. If I let myself dwell on the "what ifs" and the "if onlys" and the "whys" all the time, I would fret with worry and feel discouraged. Instead I'm going to focus on right now and how far he has come and all of the obstacles he's worked through. I've been thinking a lot lately about how I'm choosing to direct my focus. As a runner, when I run a longer race, I guess I take a similar approach. I try not to focus on how many more miles I have left, but how many I've already accomplished. Nolan has a long race ahead of him, but I'm going to focus on the miles he's already conquered.

Humbled

"It's so easy being good!", Alaina declared about 2 weeks after school started. She hadn't had to pull a color yet and still hasn't since. But I quickly deflated her head a little and gave her some words of caution, "Be careful, because one day you might be talking to a friend without thinking while your teacher is teaching and she might ask you to pull a color." One of my goals as a mother is to make sure my kids are humble. As special as I think my kiddos are, they will not be under the false notion that they can do no wrong or that they know everything. We all fall short of being perfect. The sooner we realize that, the better off we are. I am proud of Alaina for being an obedient student and like the fact that she is excited about being "good". But as I work on being a more humble person, I will be helping my children be more humble too.

An Open Window

I am loving this weather and this time of year. And so is someone else. If there is an open window, Miss Nosey Pants is peering out trying to see what everyone is up to. She loves feeling the wind in her face and having her brothers and sister and neighbor kids come by and tell her hello through the window. She feels like she is part of the "gang". Too bad her legs are too short to see out the back window.

Choices

So I have had a really stinky rotten attitude lately. And last week it came to a head when I confessed my horrible attitude to a close group of non judging friends. I feel guilty for feeling so negative when I know and am thankful for so many things in my life. And I see people everywhere around me facing hardships that I don't have to endure. But ever since my little meltdown, I am feeling much better about things. I am CHOOSING to feel better and to have a better attitude. Because I believe it is a choice. There is always something to be thankful for in every situation even if you can't see it right away. I am also CHOOSING to be content. Because frankly, that is a choice too.

I am reading a really good book called The Power of a Positive Mom and this passage really struck a chord with me: "Contentment is the opposite of self-pity. If our hearts are content because we trust in God as our loving provider, then we'll tend to keep our eyes off our troubles. But if we dwell on our wants or our difficulties (great or small), we will lose sight of the provisions God is granting us." For me, that says it all.