Wednesday, August 20, 2008

I Am Free

I am new to this blogging thing and I have been a little intimidated each time I have posted. Well, someone suggested that I could post anything, including poems that I have written. The poems I have written are not spectacular by any means but do come straight from my heart. I belong to a poetry writing group that meets monthly. This consists mostly of me listening to amazing poems written by amazing women. Occasionally I do give it a try and write a poem. Our assignment for this one was to write a poem giving ourselves permission to do or let go of certain things. It was very freeing for me to write this. Maybe I will apply this philosophy to my blog writing.

I Am Free

I am free to write poetry without fear of unwanted discoveries;
Thoughts and feelings exposing me for all to see.

I am free to have true opinions and thoughts without apologies, this is me;
Knowing what is absolutely true in the face of adversity.

I am free to have imperfect children, to be an imperfect wife and mother;
Attitudes and appearances coming forth, real and authentic like no others.

I am free to let go of insignificant details clouding my mind;
Fretting and worrying, taking up precious time.

I am free to disregard what other people think, to eliminate comparisons;
Thinking for myself, living up to my own standards.

I am free to be in my own body, dents, ripples, valleys, and mountains all in their perfect place;
Unkept hair and an unmake-uped face.

I am free to dance without inhibitions and regrets;
Insecurities vanish as I twirl around fancy free, performing perfect pirouettes.

I am free to just BE, to breath and to live;
Content with how He made me, what He gave me is all I need to give.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Broken Buildings, Broken Cars, Broken Dreams, and a Broken Heart

The Ripley's Believe It or Not Museum, A.K.A. "The Broken Building" and a broken car up on "jacks"

Around here we hear a lot about broken things. We hear about broken buildings, broken cars, and broken ceilings on a daily, often hourly basis. You may be asking yourself, "Huh?" Well this is because our 5 year old son Nolan has autism. So along with this disorder comes obsessions and fixations. He has many of them, right now it's broken things. We often have to drive certain routes to see broken cars. Yes folks, there happens to be a car up on jacks down the road that has been that way for a month. I live in rural Kansas, what do you expect!? So sometimes it's just worth it to go that extra mile, literally, to please him. He often asks for so little, and he takes joy in such simple things. When we heard the word Autism, our hearts and dreams for him were broken. Now, we are building new dreams for him. He is such a jolly freckly faced fellow, and we couldn't imagine him any other way. I personally am trying to choose the path of hope and optimism, instead of the path of bitterness and what could have beens. So let me introduce you to one of the joys of my life, Nolan.