The Housewife of Leavenworth County

At 10:00 this morning I was awoken by breakfast in bed. My maid brought me my slippers and I lounged around for a few hours reading my favorite book, while she took care of the laundry and my four children. Of course, they were cordial and didn't bother me once while I was reading. I then munched on my favorite dark chocolate truffles while the said maid swept and mopped my kitchen floor and scrubbed my bathrooms sparkly clean. I then went for a LONG jog and came home to eat a gourmet lunch BY MYSELF. The rest of my afternoon consisted of a long nap and a few hours of painting, again uninterrupted. Dinner was served and the children were put to bed without me lifting a finger. My day of rest was complete.

Sounds wonderful, right?

Okay, so here is what a day looks like in the life of The REAL Housewife of Leavenworth County:

I am awoken early by a baby who wants to nurse. I stumble downstairs and barely get my cup of coffee going, when my kiddos start making requests for breakfast. I get them fed and put in a load of laundry. I DRAG my four children to the track in the heat so I can get my run in. About every few laps I hear, "Are you almost done?" When I finish running (because that makes me a happy mommy), we come home and I scrub the bathroom and put in ANOTHER load of laundry. While keeping the baby out of ALL of the cabinets within her reach, I break up a squabble between the older ones and attempt to whip up some lunch. I clean up from lunch, sweep, and fold laundry and then get everyone settled in their own space for some wonderful, blissful, quiet time. Then I am brutally awakened by ANOTHER squabble. Sigh. I quickly slather all four children with sunscreen and off we go to the pool where I follow my little chubsters around while she explores the waters and the older kids swim. Then home we go where I whip up a NONGOURMET meal. After dinner I wait for my hubby to get home. Then a few hours later while he's collapsed in his recliner from exhaustion, I tuck all four kids into bed. Then I follow suit, collapsing into my recliner where I try to read my favorite book without falling asleep.

Now which housewife would you choose to be if you had the choice? Me? I choose the REAL housewife. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I'll take the kids hanging all over me, in my face, always needing something, over the loneliness of the first housewife. It's much more rewarding and worth every ounce of energy it takes. And when all of my children are gone, I will miss it and want to do it all over again.